


you outshine the morning sun (my son)

by cat6oys



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: + some family chapters, Gen, M/M, Multi, baby dowoon, each chapter is going to be diff members taking care of dowoon for the day :D, i just like to see the members baby dowoon so here i am with this, jae yk sungjin are married and wonpil is the somewhat bf roomie, like literally a baby not littlespace lmaoo, wonpil is in grad school
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:41:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25619029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cat6oys/pseuds/cat6oys
Summary: A mixture of joy and anxiety feels like a contradictive joke at best. It's comparable to a roller-coaster ride where you're sick to your stomach and yet you find yourself having fun despite that; you're worried the whole way but the end results make you happy. To ask a bewildered Jae, nonchalant but a mess-on-the-inside Younghyun, incomparable chef Sungjin, and graduate student Wonpil what parenthood is like, they would answer this: it's a serious joke.orDowoon are the four's adopted baby.
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Kim Wonpil/Park Jaehyung | Jae/Park Sungjin/Yoon Dowoon, Kang Younghyun | Young K/Yoon Dowoon, Kim Wonpil/Yoon Dowoon, Park Jaehyung | Jae/Yoon Dowoon, Park Sungjin/Yoon Dowoon, Yoon Dowoon & Everyone, Yoon Dowoon/Everyone
Comments: 40
Kudos: 57





	1. jae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But there was a tiny doubt in his mind, awaiting the disaster to partake any minute.
> 
> And it came in the form of Dowoon’s wobbling lip as Jae bounced him on his knees on the couch."
> 
> The others are out and Jae is left home alone to look after their baby.

To say Jae was not at all anxious at the idea of taking care of their baby by himself was plausible in the face of his stoic act, but his faltering smile deceived him the longer Younghyun and Sungjin took to head out. 

Wonpil was already at the laundromat in the dead morning of seven to hog the best dryers three blocks from their apartment; he had left in a rush and failed to notice his singular yellow sock worn for good luck that had fallen by the shoe rack. 

And Jae. Well, he’s rocking his baby with both arms secured around his small torso in a sort of awkward position that looked like he was holding a dog rather than a human infant. The good thing is that Dowoon didn’t seem to mind from where he was resting his head and sleepily drooling on Jae’s shoulder. Raising a baby, especially for the first few early years, meant getting used to having unnecessary liquids on you in any scenario. 

Younghyun packed a kiss onto his son’s head and one on Jae’s cheek, running short reassurances that were meant to comfort the anxious father but was followed quickly by his expectations on when to feed Dowoon, when his nap times were, along with a list of other duties as if they weren’t already drilled into Jae’s head for the past five months. 

Sungjin rubbed at Jae’s arms as comfort, stroked his son’s cheeks, and grabbed onto Younghyun’s coated arm to pull him out of the door, grumbling that there were mere minutes before their appointment at the adoption center started. So, Younghyun compiled and let himself be dragged out all while emphasizing on Dowoon’s needed naps every three hours he was awake— something about babies needing that time for their brains to process what just occurred. 

Jae waved at him with a tone that said, “Yeah, yeah, I heard you,” and they were gone. 

It was barely the brink of eight and Jae already felt exhausted from the fact that he had to look after the lump in his arms without causing major injuries. A sigh left his throat and he moved to the couch to lay down with Dowoon sleeping on his chest, stuffing his little nose against Jae’s neck, and Jae could breathe again. He passed the silence of the morning scrolling mindlessly through his social media, specifically Twitter, and once in a while checked if his son was still breathing. 

Let the long day await.

  
  
  
  
  


It was pretty accurate to say the day was going better than Jae had anticipated. He had fed Dowoon the minute he stirred awake with his daily milk bottle decorated in printed images of Winnie the Pooh, repeatedly tapped his back afterwards to burp him, changed his diapers, exchanged his pajamas with the new puppy baby onesie Wonpil bought after a thrift store spree, and was playing with him.

Overall, he had to admit, he was proud with how well it was going. So well, in fact, that it made Jae anxious at just how well he was doing with Dowoon.

Dowoon wasn’t a feisty baby— he was rather calm, very rarely frowned or threw crying fits, and was always a happy boy in the presence of his fathers. But there was a tiny doubt in his mind, awaiting the disaster to partake any minute.

And it came in the form of Dowoon’s wobbling lip as Jae bounced him on his knees on the couch. It stretched slowly, Jae’s mind processing rather slowly on what was happening to his son, before it bubbled a whine on the tip of his tongue, and then a _wail_. Jae’s fight-or-flight mode kicked in at the abrupt sobbing. 

He rocked the baby in his arms in panic, grabbing the nearest toy on the soft mat to grab Dowoon’s attention, and yet failed to subdue the child as his cries only raised in volume. 

He practically speed walked to the open entrance kitchen and raided the fridge for the containers of baby foods, figuring Dowoon must’ve been hungry. The baby did quiet down when the fridge had been opened, staring at the colorful food items inside but just as quickly as his cries disappeared, they returned with disruptions of small hiccups. 

Jae strapped him in the high chair, wrapped a bib, and cooed at Dowoon to calm him down. He hovered the spoon carrying a mush of what looked like apple sauce over Dowoon’s lips, and for a second Dowoon was back to quiet again. But then his tiny hands pushed at the spoon away from him and he wailed. 

Huge logs of tears rolled down his heated cheeks and Jae abandoned the still opened container at the high chair, pointing out the tall buildings for his baby to see in their huge apartment window that overlooked the city from floor to ceiling. 

Dowoon bunched up his fists around Jae’s messy shirt in frustration, and he cried and he cried. Jae placed him on the playing mat and turned on old episodes of _Sesame Street_ with Elmo singing his theme song for his segment of the show. But the song wasn’t enough to cease Dowoon’s cries this time, and he reached out his arms for Jae to pick him up. Jae relented and paced around the living room in hopes of aiding Dowoon’s upsetting state. 

He raised the baby and sniffed his diapers. Nope, it wasn’t funky by any sorts. It was after five minutes of Dowoon destroying his vocal chords that Jae sunk onto the couch, time checked (it was half past nine), and dialed the emergency contact. 

Younghyun picked up.

“How is my son?” 

“Not good,” was Jae’s automatic response.

Dowoon’s loud cries rang in the background of the line, unmuffled despite digging his little face into daddy’s chest. 

Younghyun hadn’t gotten a single word in before he was interrupted by Jae’s panicked rambling. 

“I fed him, burped him, changed his diapers and his clothes, and I was playing with him and he started crying and I don’t know why– so I thought ‘Oh, maybe he’s hungry’ so I went to fetch his baby food but he refused to eat!”

“Jae–“

“I showed him the city views but babies can’t seem to see the beauty in that because he didn’t stop crying, and– and I played Elmo! _Elmo!_ He loves Elmo but he’s still crying! And he’s not playing with his toys and I don’t know what he wants– I don’t know what _I’m_ doing wrong!” 

“Dude–“

“I’ve been trying not to freak out but it’s hard when you’ve got a baby that’s been screaming for half an hour–“

“ _Jae_ ,”

“What?” Jae whined, rubbing at his throat.

“Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Jae said. He furrowed his eyebrows at what Younghyun would have meant.

“Exactly,”

He blinked and brought his phone away from his ear to stare at the caller ID as if virtually confronting Younghyun was going to explain what he meant. 

_Hear? What was he supposed to hear?_ He thought. 

And then his brain clicked. 

It was silent. The only sounds that wafted through this apartment was the air conditioner Jae forgot to turn off before his other two husbands had left, and the engines roaring to life beneath where busy intersections were. 

Jae looked down at the source of his internal panic and found Dowoon nodding off, more than half asleep but still needed an extra boost to fully transition into a nap. His tiny hands were splayed across the grey cardigan and his chubby cheeks were pressed against Jae’s heartbeat, as if listening to it calmed him down. Jae finally understood what he forgot to give his son.

He forgot to give him his daily nap.

Daring not to breathe, he slowly reclined back even further into the couch to make Dowoon as comfortable as possible from his koala swaddled position. His pace at going about it was rather comically slow, sliding inch by inch and his face was turning red from holding his breath. He nearly startled at the sudden voice that rang on the line, having forgotten the phone was there in the first place. 

“Is he sleepy?” 

This time, it was Sungjin’s voice. There was a scuffle, a murmur Jae couldn’t decipher here and there, and the sound of car doors shutting. It sounded like they were on their way home. 

“Yeah,” Jae breathed out. 

He slowly rubbed his hands down Dowoon’s small back to soothe him further into sleep. He could feel his baby’s body falling languid underneath his finger tips, and his eyes drooped shut being coaxed to sleep. All of Jae’s alerted body systems shut down at Dowoon’s slow breathing and he relaxed into the couch and threw his head back on the edge of the couch. 

“You idiot,” Younghyun was back to playfully insult his husband. 

“You… no words. I’ll just see you at home. And, please, put him back in his crib,” 

“I will,” 

Jae stroked his son’s head, covered by the onesie’s hoodie stitched in brown felt and dog ears on each side. He couldn’t bring his eyes away from Dowoon’s peaceful state even if he wanted to. 

The call went dead and the phone was tossed carelessly somewhere on the maroon furniture. Jae wanted to lay with Dowoon for a little more; he never had the chance to see his son to sleep since it was usually Sungjin putting him into his crib during night times and Dowoon tended to fall asleep faster in Younghyun’s arms during the day. Jae’s divided role was to fold laundry and clean the living room, and occasionally packed a mean sandwich for work lunch. 

So the chance at being left alone with his sleeping son without disturbances was rare, and hell was Jae going to take advantage of that, especially when he had never felt an indescribable joy at looking down at his son in his cute little onesie and his socked feet.

He was in love with all aspects of Dowoon and he couldn’t ever get enough satisfaction at looking at his son. He was utterly hopeless at ever getting over how his son impacted his life for the better, even if child rearing was stressful. Dowoon made it worth it if he got to see that smile at the end of the day. 

But it seemed his day couldn’t go as expected because the front door opened and slammed shut with Wonpil’s uncontrollably excited force, two laundry bags in each hand, and Dowoon startled awake at the noise. His lips wobbled and Jae let out a long groan, tiredly retreating into Dowoon’s room. 

He should’ve put Dowoon into his crib first. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this entire fic was mainly inspired from this vlive: https://photos.app.goo.gl/CZ2pKXSVxeBaVW7A9
> 
> kudos + comments are appreciated, i would love to hear your thoughts ! c:


	2. sungjin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Scientists argued that the act of babies smiling were purely just facial muscles practicing movement, but with how Dowoon looked at him like how sunflowers gravitate towards the sun, he couldn’t bring himself to believe in that."
> 
> Sungjin has a day off work and spends his time on his baking hobby with Dowoon c:

Awakening to a morning void of any noises coming from the downstairs neighbors in the apartment building and instead filled with his lovers’ soft snoring and the dribbling coffee machine in their small kitchen was a center level of happiness for Sungjin, who is _not_ a morning person. But stretching out his limbs in bed past his usual work-time, fully knowing he wasn’t required to clock in today, was a whole different level that was simply incomparable. 

He heard his lovers shuffling across the floorboard to fetch their shoes out front, careful to disturb the rare silence of a Monday morning, and familiar footsteps running back and forth from the living room to their bedroom— he knew it was Wonpil by how easily the boy forgot to pack his bag during the weekends— before all three headed out the door. 

Having a bed to himself was a luxury to the past Sungjin, but after getting used to two bodies pressing against him and occasionally one additional body in the middle of the night, the current Sungjin felt at odds with the coldness that enveloped him, no matter how much he curled under the covers. So, he found himself getting out of bed and headed to the one room where he knew there was still a person left: Dowoon. 

With a crack of the door, he retrieved his still-sleeping baby from his crib and huddled back to his bedroom where he laid onto his huge bed with his baby bundled in his arms. The last stroke on Dowoon’s back lulled him into a deep sleep once more. 

  
  
  
  
  


Albeit the weather wasn’t as freezing as yesterday’s, Sungjin made a quick run to the grocery market ten minutes away from their apartment by foot with Dowoon covered underneath his wool jacket. He could’ve had a lazy day with his baby since it was his only day off for the month, but he couldn’t roll back to sleep after waking up to his baby sucking on _his_ arm in the process of teething. 

And what was the one thing his mind had set on doing on a Monday morning absent of his husbands? Making milk rice cake with melted chocolate on top. 

He had found the recipe online and was tempted to make it for weeks on end, but work was freighted with stress and he couldn’t afford as much time on his baking hobby. He had craved chocolates for quite some time— he rarely ever craves for sweets— and he was set on making some now with the excuse that rice cakes would be beneficial to Dowoon’s teething. It was perfect to chew on but also maintained that creamy deliciousness. 

But he’s got a baby to feed, so he straps Dowoon in his baby carrier on his front side with the baby facing him and balances the milk bottle against his chest to rest on Dowoon’s parted mouth. Dowoon drank as Sungjin boiled the whole milk and vanilla beans, humming an old melody to entertain both himself and his son, and brought the liquids into a bowl of flour to mix. 

His baby had gotten tired of drinking at one point as Sungjin heated up the dough, and used his chubby hands to push at the nub in his mouth. Milk dripped from the corner of his lips and Sungjin used the kitchen towel to dab at it. The bottle had about a quarter of milk left over. 

“Are you full?” Sungjin questioned, leaving the bottle by the counter.

He dipped his voice into a tone he only ever used around Dowoon alone; not even his husbands were aware of it. 

That etched a smile on his son’s face, cheeks more plump and round than the dough he was supposed to be beating, abandoned for a moment as he was sidetracked by how adorable his own baby was. 

Scientists argued that the act of babies smiling were purely just facial muscles practicing movement, but with how Dowoon looked at him like how sunflowers gravitate towards the sun, he couldn’t bring himself to believe in that. 

“You can’t be full,” He coos, giving in to pinch his son’s cheeks. “You haven’t yet tasted what I’m going to make you,”

Dowoon gurgled in delight, showcasing his first bottom tooth, as if he understood what Sungjin was saying. He continued letting out more gurgles as responses the more Sungjin talked.

Sungjin pounded his wooden stick onto the sticky dough to stretch it out, capturing Dowoon’s attention with the noises on the counter. He was so focused on getting the consistency of the dough to be thick that he didn’t notice his son peering up at him in mischief before he stuck his little finger up Sungjin’s nostril. 

He set down his tool as he huffed out a laugh, removing his baby’s hands from his face, but his reaction only entailed Dowoon to do it once more as he giggled at his father. Sungjin retaliates by wiping flour onto Dowoon’s nose and his philtrum, and Dowoon _loves_ it. He slaps his tiny palm onto Sungjin’s mouth, and Sungjin grasps his chubby hands and blows a raspberry into his palm, tickling his son. 

And that was what made Dowoon retract his hands, wiggling away from Sungjin’s attempt to kiss him. He squeals when Sungjin pecks his cheeks. 

Dowoon rubs at his cheeks with both hands to get rid of his daddy’s planted kiss, and somehow smears the flour that was on his nose everywhere. Sungjin peers down at him in amusement, leaves the dumped dough onto cornstarch, and heads to the sink to first wash away the flour on his hands then onto Dowoon’s tiny face.

He stretches out the dough into a single line, chomps tiny bits off, and rolls them into spheres before dividing them into five separate bowls. Dowoon babbles and points at the rice cakes, turning his head towards Sungjin every time he speaks, and Sungjin responds back with exclamations of utter amusement, prompting his child to talk.

“Oh? It looks yummy, doesn’t it? You want to feel them? They’re as soft as your cheeks; I think you’ll love them,”

With the finishing touch of drizzling microwaved chocolate on top since he was too impatient to melt chocolate on the stove, he swipes some leftover drips onto Dowoon’s mouth and gauges his reaction. Dowoon smacks his lips and peers up at him to convey his delight at tasting the sweetened item for the first time; he sticks his thumbs in his mouth and hums at wanting more. 

Satisfied at his reaction, Sungjin tears the rice cake in half and feeds it to Dowoon, who nibbles at the solid food in amazement. His eyes said it all, sparkling in a meteor shower of stars as he looks up at him and Sungjin finds himself starstruck at his baby enjoying it.

The baby formulas are dull, and Sungjin is pretty sure Dowoon is just as tired of them as Sungjin is— he wants to feed his baby _his_ handmade food and explore his types of preferences. How much would he enjoy sweet food? Would he grow to love vegetables if Sungjin seasoned and fried them or would he still hate greens? Would he be picky over certain dishes? There were endless possibilities that Sungjin has yet to implore with Dowoon simply because he was only six months old and had just recently started on solids. 

And Sungjin yearns for the years when Dowoon can start eating proper dishes, but at the same time he doesn’t want his son to grow. He wants him to stay as his happy little boy who sips milk and sleeps with his fist right next to his mouth; who cries silently in the middle of the night because his blanket had fallen from his pillow; who blinks with one eye delayed; who drums on any hard surface he can find; who wiggles his bottom whenever one of his dads whip out the acoustic guitar; and who falls asleep to their voices. 

Looking at Dowoon now, he is quite saddened over the reality that his son won’t stay this small but his diminished mood is only temporary as Dowoon sucks on his thumbs and stares at Sungjin. It felt like his son was reading him, so he offers a smile that Dowoon gladly returns. 

He packs the rest of the bowls in the fridge for when his husbands come home, and retreats to the living room where he’ll spend the rest of his day with Dowoon as his sole attention. He switches on one of his favorite films on DVD, leans back on the couch, and Dowoon relaxes against his torso. 

For now, he relishes how Dowoon curls in his arms and how his tiny feet shift excitedly every minute on Sungjin’s lap as he chomps on the rice cakes. 

And his heart feels lighter than ever when Dowoon feeds _him_ a rice cake. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone is curious, sungjin was following this recipe: https://youtu.be/fQN1HgnUHOY
> 
> kudos + comments are appreciated, i would love to hear your thoughts c: !


	3. younghyun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " 'Dowoonie, did you grab the pacifier while I wasn’t looking?' 
> 
> The baby peers up at him at the same time he looks down and‒
> 
> ‒that is not his baby. "
> 
> Younghyun loses Dowoon while grocery shopping.

Despite landing in the season of spring, the weather was frigid in cement grounds that killed off any excess sweat and metal fences stung uncovered hands holding onto railings. Summer shorts and thin cardigans were replaced by padded coats and thick jeans to store warmth, and walks in the parks instead became indoor film binging marathons. 

And yet, two members of the family of five were anywhere but indoors. Wonpil had offered to accompany Younghyun on his trip to the grocery market with Dowoon, seeing as he had free time to kill, but Younghyun had declined, insisting that he spend some alone time with their baby. 

So, he bundles Dowoon up in a one-piece, padded coat covered from head to toe making Dowoon look like a moving teddy bear, and heads out to the grocery market by foot. Five minutes into the walk, he sort of regrets not bringing his car instead; his hands were stiff, frostbitten, and gloveless, and the coat he wore didn’t come with a hoodie so he was left with a half frozen brain. He pulls his collar upwards to cover his neck and drapes the unbuttoned side of his coat over his baby to protect him from the cold. 

And it’s only once they are embraced by the heater in the market does Younghyun drop the clutch on his coat, sheds off his scarf, and places Dowoon in the baby seat of the shopping cart. He strolls to the fresh produce aisle to pick unbruised vegetables and a pound of parsley for Sungjin, which Dowoon attempts to eat before Younghyun hands him his pacifier. 

As he picks, he holds the item up to Dowoon to introduce him to the foreign foods and lets his child play with the package. 

“Dowoonie, do you know what this is? You love these. It’s an apple,” 

He covers his face with two apples in his hands and plays peek-a-boo, causing Dowoon to squeal and giggle at his antics. He does that for a while, dropping a bok choy stalk onto Dowoon’s lap and his baby holds onto it like a guitar with one arm wrapped underneath and the other overlapped with the vegetable. Younghyun taps on the bag of potatoes and Dowoon copies, creating a rhythm.

While his baby was distracted, Younghyun darts to a different spot down further where the yogurts were located and grabs a pack that was on sale, knowing Wonpil had a habit of consuming them as if he was starved of proper meals in his period of stressing over his academics. He retreats, then quickly backpedals to pile another pack on top just in case Wonpil runs through the first pack in one-go. He plops them down on his cart, and strolls away to head to the aisle dedicated to baby products. 

His baby no longer tapped on the bag of potatoes and was oddly silent with his head down, looking at Younghyun’s shoes, and it isn’t until Younghyun pauses by the rack of baby products that he notices his shopping cart was different. It still held the basic necessities he had gotten, but they were positioned in spots Younghyun doesn’t remember putting them in as well as unfamiliar items like the pink pacifier on his baby’s left. He frowns while grabbing the apple flavored baby foods and calls out to his baby.

“Dowoonie, did you grab the pacifier while I wasn’t looking?”

The baby peers up at him at the same time he looks down and‒

‒that is _not_ his baby. 

_Shit,_ is the first thing that leaves his mouth before he taps his mouth in repetition as if that would rid of the dirty word. 

_I just stole someone’s baby_ , he thought and retraces his steps back to the yogurt aisle. The baby continues looking up at him in confusion. 

He checks back where he was last at and finds it barren of any shoppers, including his own baby. He wanders around the nearby aisles all while still pushing the unfamiliar cart and baby, calling out Dowoon’s name every five seconds and receiving stares from other customers for making noise in the quiet shop. He walks to the baby aisle again in hopes of finding the parent of this baby but to no avail, there was no one with Dowoon so he rounds the corners to the dairy products, the pet food aisle, the greeting cards, and skin care products. He was about to step back into the yogurt aisle again when there was an intercom that startled many others with its abrupt ringing. 

“Registry aisle number three, there is a baby missing; please report to aisle number three,”

There were a few cracks and a murmur before the tired voice, too early to be speaking at this hour, sounded out again.

“I was informed there is also another child here. Uhh… please collect your baby at aisle number three, thank you,”

Younghyun rushes to the announced destination and finds a woman, quite possibly in her early thirties, standing in front of his cart and entertaining Dowoon with peek-a-boo, who was pouting up at her yet offering the stick of bok choy. He pants out a flustered apology when the woman notices his approaching presence and slides her cart for her to take. 

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t notice this wasn’t my baby until I reached the aisle down there,”

He nervously chuckles and reaches for his cart, and Dowoon raises both his arms up at Younghyun with the bok choy still in his hands. The woman laughs in response at the situation.

“It’s tough work, huh? Is your wife in the car?”

“Uhh…” He weighs his options in this conversation, prepared to check out his items without the baby food to avoid further humiliation.

“Yeah. She’s waiting for me.” He lies, wrapping up his scarf. 

It was one thing to explain being married to a man instead of a woman in a small town like this, unsure of the reactions he would be getting although this town was on its way to being positively progressive; but it was another thing to have to explain that he’s officially married to two men in their thirties while also having an unexpected, somewhat romantic relationship with his roommate under the same roof. And judging by her quick assumptions and her haircut, he didn’t wish to indulge in a complicated conversation with her to save his own ass. 

The woman smiles and jokingly says, “Don’t let your wife know what happened,” and he lets out a robotic “Haha” while quickly piling his groceries onto the conveyor belt. Thankfully, she leaves to fetch more items and he pays with antsy steps, holding Dowoon on his hip and carrying the three grocery bags with his other hand. 

He steps out into the bitter cold and ducks his head down towards Dowoon.

“Don’t tell your fathers about this,”

And Dowoon laughs despite his six month old brain not understanding. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally, i had planned out for dowoon to magically escape from his seat and managing to freak younghyun out on his shopping trip but i ended up going for this route ! i hope it's not as bad 
> 
> kudos + comments are appreciated, i would love to hear your thoughts ♡


	4. wonpil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When it came to the others, Wonpil felt insignificant to be a part of Dowoon’s growth and he knew if he were to ever voice it out he would earn an earful from them. He would like to believe in their reassurances and understanding of his school struggles, but it was hard to not feel unimportant when Dowoon’s first word was directed to the rest and not him. 
> 
> But now, he felt like the universe had given him an answer to his protruding misery."
> 
> Wonpil is overly emotional by Dowoon referring to him as his dad.

He could feel the ground swallow him alive. He’s drained in energy to continue the incoherent essay he’s been cranking at for five hours with illogical arguments he was desperately trying to make work; he was irritated and would honestly cry on the spot if an Avril Lavigne song came on shuffle one more time.

Wonpil was holed up in his room, running on three cups of coffee, a mug of tea made by Younghyun that sat abandoned by the books, and at least ten empty yogurt cups scattered in his room. His brain was mush and he deserves a break— one that he meant to take a couple hours ago as insisted by the three husbands, but one project led to two and onto another that he put off until the last minute and everything was _too much_. He tugged at his hair in frustration. 

He needed a break.

As if on cue, a knock interrupted his cycle of self-destruction. 

“Wonpil?” 

Younghyun stuck his head in and by the wrinkles on his forehead and thinned lips, it was obvious he was in distress. Wonpil sunk further into his chair that creaked under his weight and turned to Younghyun. 

The man was riddled with guilt as he spoke.

“I’m sorry to disturb you— I know you’re probably busy, but I forgot something from my office and my client needs it by tomorrow and Dowoon’s in the tub–”

“Go, hyung,” Wonpil was quick to respond. 

He rubbed a hand down his face. 

“I’ll look after Dowoon, don’t worry. Just go,”

He dismisses Younghyun with a flick of his wrist in an attempt to wave. 

“I needed a break anyways,”

“Thank you so much, seriously, _thank you_ ,” Younghyun stresses. “I’ll dry him off, you just need to dress him. Want me to grab something on my way for you?” 

“Mm, soft pretzels sound pretty good.” 

Wonpil stands up and cracks every aching bone in his body, and steps foot out into his doorway just as Younghyun brings out a bundled baby in a yellow towel. He passes the bundle to Wonpil and heads out to the living room to grab his car keys. 

“It won’t take me long. Just, uh, play music and he’ll be fine.” Younghyun sputters, shoving his foot into his shoes and exits, making sure to say a quick goodbye to Dowoon. Wonpil brings Dowoon’s arm in a wave before Younghyun disappears from view. 

Dowoon squirms in Wonpil’s hold, now having been exposed to the air conditioning after his warm bath, and Wonpil heads into the bathroom to blow dry Dowoon’s dampened hair. 

He mutters out quick apologies to the baby whimpering at the loud noises, and plants kisses on every area of Dowoon’s chest, occasionally tickling his kicking feet to distract him. Wonpil runs his hand through Dowoon’s hair once more with the towel and switches the blow dryer off, hushing out sweet compliments and showering kisses onto his cheeks to soothe the baby. 

Heading into Dowoon’s bedroom, he lays the baby down onto the small, foldable sofa chair situated into a corner by the closet and begins dressing him. He tugs on the diaper, applies baby powder around his thighs to prevent rashes, and body lotion to moisturize Dowoon, who was currently sucking on the cornered ends of a blanket draped over the sofa chair. 

Wonpil let himself work in silence for a while, finding his nurturing act towards Dowoon was doing him good mentally. His muscles weren’t as stiff from sitting in his desk chairs for hours on end, his vision wasn’t as strained from being exposed to his white screen in the dark, and he could finally breathe through his nose without his throat tightening in anxiety. Plus, just the presence of the calm baby was enough to relieve him of any pessimistic doubts lingering. Being with Dowoon de-stressed him in ways cat videos couldn’t.

Dowoon stares at him the whole time Wonpil situates body lotion on and when Wonpil holds his eye contact, he smiles widely and who was Wonpil to not return one back?

He opens the built-in closet to pick out Dowoon’s nightwear and occasionally glances back every two seconds to ensure Dowoon hasn't rolled himself over. 

Onesies were a no-no item for nightwear, having learned from past experiences. It may be comfortable and cute but had to be stripped completely in a scenario where Dowoon awakens at three in the morning and needs to be changed, which has happened multiple times before when he was just a few months.

So, Wonpil picks out two pairs of a set— one a pink bunny patterned pajama set and the other a matching navy outfit that Sungjin had actually bought with the words _“Daddy’s little rockstar”_ — and holds them up for Dowoon to see. 

“Which one do you want to wear, Dowoonie?” Wonpil says, kneeling down by the chair. 

“The bunny?” He lets out a dramatic gasp that excites Dowoon. “Or the rockstar?” 

Dowoon lets out a squeal when Wonpil raises the bunny set in favor of the rockstar ones. Wonpil takes that as an approval and dresses Dowoon, making sure to give his little feet kisses. 

He brings Dowoon to the living room and the open kitchen to find the baby bottle previously heated, most likely by Younghyun since Jae and Sungjin were staying overtime, and wraps a bib around Dowoon’s neck. He settles back onto the plush couch and hovers the tip of the bottle over Dowoon’s lips. Dowoon latches his mouth around the nub immediately, drinking it greedily all while refusing to back down from the staring competition he was holding with Wonpil. 

Halfway into the bottle, Dowoon suddenly stops sucking and just stares at Wonpil. Wonpil was taken back— he never thought he would feel self-conscious over a stare from a six month old baby, who was scrutinizing him under a spotlight. Wonpil pulls the bottle away.

“Dowoonie? What’s wrong?” 

He moves his hand to remove the bib. Perhaps his baby was full. 

“Are you sleepy? Do you want to go to bed?” 

Wonpil was reminded of the exact words Younghyun had said to him when he caught him stifling a yawn last week during their late night movie marathon as Sungjin had passed out early. He laid on the far end of their couch with his legs tucked under to make room for Younghyun sandwiched in the middle between him and Jae, and he blearily nodded when Younghyun had asked him that. All Younghyun did was smile and brought Wonpil closer to lay on his shoulder.

And here was a reoccurrence of the dialogue, except this time it was Wonpil to Dowoon. He patted Dowoon’s chest as he observed his baby for a sign that something was wrong— a furrow of his eyebrows, a trembling pout, or puffed cheeks, anything to give away what Dowoon was going through. 

Wonpil silently watched Dowoon scrunch his hands into Wonpil’s shirt to push himself up and reached as much as possible to cup Wonpil’s face in his tiny palms. The baby played with his cheeks for a while, squishing it in and out much like Wonpil had done to him about a few days ago while Younghyun was changing him, and he let out little noises that appeared to be his contribution to a conversation. 

Wonpil huffs out a laugh and puckers his lips for a kiss, which Dowoon gives on the spot, and he freezes at Dowoon’s next words. 

“Appa…” The baby murmurs. 

He blinks once then twice as Dowoon smiles up at him. He could honestly cry right now by the warning sign of tears wielding their way up into his moistened eyes and his hitched breath. This was the first time he had heard Dowoon call him his dad. 

He’s played with Dowoon multiple times and was a helping hand in changing his diapers and feeding him fruit purees when Sungjin was too busy cooking the rest of the meals and the others didn’t have a chance to eat themselves, but he felt he didn’t have as much of a role in Dowoon’s life compared to the others. 

He was busy with grad school and working on his internship at a book publishing company, often holed up in his room to re-edit a draft sent in by his manager for another upcoming young adult fiction, and by the time he’s finished to his satisfaction Dowoon was already sound asleep and tucked into his crib by Sungjin. 

Wonpil sometimes sneaked in to give him a kiss on the forehead, but he didn’t do it much in fear of waking the baby past two in the morning. And the times he _had_ managed to be the one to soothe Dowoon to sleep was when the baby woke up in the early mornings, crying over hunger or loneliness, as Wonpil stayed up to edit the drafts. 

The weekends were the only times he was available to fully dedicate his time to Dowoon, but often even that wasn’t the case because he still chugged at his school assignments. 

When Wonpil was stuck in his room, Jae was the one to play with Dowoon in the living room. When Dowoon whined due to hunger, Sungjin was there in the kitchen to feed his son. When Dowoon needed to take his daily naps, Younghyun was there with open arms and would succeed in rocking Dowoon to sleep within five minutes. 

When Dowoon made a mess from eating or playing, Sungjin was there to clean up. When Dowoon got fussy over something so small, Jae was there to pacify his anger with his acoustic guitar and singing. When Dowoon needed to bathe, Younghyun was the one to do so as he was the most trusted to not make a mess in the bathroom. 

When it came to the others, Wonpil felt insignificant to be a part of Dowoon’s growth and he knew if he were to ever voice it out he would earn an earful from them. He would like to believe in their reassurances and understanding of his school struggles, but it was hard to not feel unimportant when Dowoon’s first word was directed to the rest and not him. 

But now, he felt like the universe had given him an answer to his protruding misery. Because the world had come to a pause when the words left Dowoon’s mouth and Wonpil took his precious time to soak in what just occurred before his heart beats rapidly and a sob rips its way out of his throat. 

He holds Dowoon against his chest and cries and peppers kisses onto Dowoon’s head, cheeks, forehead, nose, and temple. His baby lets out a chain of noises that was a mixture of a whine and a giggle. 

“Dowoonie, say that again,” He pleads, cupping the baby’s face. 

“Ap–” The baby sounds out. 

Wonpil encourages him to continue with an excited nod of his head, mouthing the word. 

“Appa,” 

Wonpil chuckles out a choked laughter, hot tears still rolling down his face; he couldn’t bring himself to care if the insensitive downstairs neighbors would report a noise complaint at his loud crying. He needs the universe to feel his gratitude.

He stains Dowoon’s tiny face with his tears as he repeatedly kisses him, rolling out soft, “Dowoon, I love you so much,” and “Yes, yes, I’m your appa,” in between kisses. 

He wasn’t sure how long he had spent crying over his son but his mind hadn’t processed the click of the door and footsteps entering before he heard a, “Wonpil, why are you crying?” followed by a paper bag being placed on the small coffee table. 

He holds Dowoon tight and looks up at Younghyun, who is bent over the couch in concern with a hand on his shoulder. He’s pretty sure he’s got snot bubbling at his nose, but Younghyun’s expression didn’t give away anything but worry. 

“He called me his appa,” He cries, stroking Dowoon’s head. 

Another set of fresh tears spilled out when Dowoon buried his face in Wonpil’s neck. 

“I’m _his_ appa,” He jabs a finger into his chest. 

Younghyun smiles when he hears that and kisses the top of Dowoon’s head. 

“Yes, you _are_ ,” He drags out each word. 

“Welcome to the club. Officially as approved by Dowoonie himself,” 

The baby giggles at hearing his name and excitedly kicks his feet. Younghyun opens the folded paper bag and offers the pretzels inside for Wonpil to take, and it takes half an hour for Wonpil to fully calm down from his hysteria. He’s got a takeout cup of lemonade in one hand and a ripped pretzel in the other, and a baby on his lap who whines at Wonpil’s denial of the food. Dowoon pouts up at him and Wonpil was uncertain he wouldn’t cry again with Dowoon looking up at him like that, so he gives in and rips a tiny piece off for Dowoon. 

He and Younghyun chat for a while about Wonpil’s classes and how work was going— at some point Younghyun brings out his treasured wine reserved _only_ for special nights. Younghyun talks about a coworker who despises him for reasons he still hadn’t figured out since the first day of their arrival, and Wonpil confesses his soul ascends the heavens every time he has to edit a cliched trope in the YA draft. Younghyun empathizes by rubbing Wonpil’s shoulder and offers comfort by running his fingers through Wonpil’s bird nest on his head. Dowoon starts squirming because it’s near his bedtime and he was overwhelmed with the chattering, so Younghyun stands to clean and leaves Wonpil to pacify their baby. 

Wonpil paces around in the dimmed bedroom, gently rocking Dowoon, and finds this must be another skill he’s inherited from Younghyun because Dowoon falls asleep three minutes in. He carefully places Dowoon down into his crib and stuffs his favorite blanket by his stretched arm, but he doesn’t quite leave the room yet. Instead, he kneels down by the crib and watches Dowoon’s chest rise in soft breaths, counting sheep for each time Dowoon exhaled and he thanks the stars for giving him a child that had the power to control his world. 

He gives him a final kiss and breathes out a, “Sweet dreams,”

He retreats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cute and fluffy was what i had in mind but somewhere along the way it became a... ??? emotional part in wonpil's perspective .... not that that's bad but
> 
> kudos + comments are appreciated, i would love to hear your thoughts ♡


	5. family competition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And it is with this in mind that one day, Jae claps his hands, startling the serene Sunday morning atmosphere, and says his next words like an overly confident soccer coach. 
> 
> “Aite, it’s time to figure out who Dowoon’s favorite dad is,” 
> 
> That got all of their attention quick."
> 
> The four fathers compete to be the first to win Dowoon's heart.

It’s a few days after Wonpil had been officially deemed as one of Dowoon’s (now) four dads— he bragged about it on their morning breakfast a day after the incident— that he starts to feel like he belongs in the familial bond. 

The trio never excluded him from any activities they did; in fact, they unhesitatingly reached out casual offerings like watching over Dowoon as Sungjin mops the kitchen tiles or lathering soap onto the baby as Younghyun held him in the tub. But they also obliged by Wonpil’s busy schedule and gave him the space he needed to work alone, which in turn fueled Wonpil’s insecurities whenever he walked out of his room to see the trio eating leftovers in the living room with Dowoon on the playing mat. 

With Dowoon having acknowledged Wonpil as being his father, Wonpil starts to recognize that his harsh insecurities were purely just that— his insecurities. They clouded his emotions, making him feel alienated, when the others welcomed him with open arms he shone a blind eye to. 

Recognizing that filled a new sense of relief in his lungs that no longer constricted itself to fit with his ribs, and Wonpil could freely breathe again. It also meant that he accepted the others’ affections more willingly and even went as far to initiate cuddles with them, even if it was a tight squeeze for the four men on the singular bed. 

He would sometimes wake up in bed with Jae’s arm thrown across his chest, who was in a sleep too deep to notice, and Younghyun’s thighs were pressed against his; or Sungjin’s breath tickling his ear when he got home early enough to not pass out in the spare bedroom they had in case one of them wanted to have their own space for the night. 

Younghyun usually woke up the earliest, having developed a sixth sense to know when Dowoon would wake up after a few months into the adoption, and he’d press light kisses to their foreheads and often Wonpil would awaken to that and give him one back on the lips. He’d follow Younghyun to the kitchen and latch himself to the man as he makes coffee for the two of them and they’d share a couple kisses in the sunlight from their balcony without saying a word. 

Sungjin would wake up next, having headed to the living room after grabbing coffee himself, and Younghyun would playfully smack his tummy. Sungjin would tsk at the action and kick Younghyun, who was fast on his feet to get away. Wonpil was just nestled onto the couch, witnessing all of that happen in a blink of an eye, and he’d feel a hand that belonged to a certain blondie rub at the back of his neck. Wonpil offers Jae his coffee and Jae would plant himself next to him on the couch and kindly accept the caffeine. Then Dowoon would awaken with a whimper, and Jae, being the closest to the hallway, would silently go to get their baby. 

That was how most of their weekend mornings went, and Wonpil would never tire from it; the same goes to the other three. 

And it is with this in mind that one day, Jae claps his hands, startling the serene Sunday morning atmosphere, and says his next words like an overly confident soccer coach. 

“Aite, it’s time to figure out who Dowoon’s favorite dad is,” 

That got all of their attention quick. 

Younghyun pauses his reading— he had recently got hooked onto Shaun David Hutchinson’s books— and stares up at Jae from the small dining table. 

“Jae, don’t make Dowoonie choose,” He lightly scolds. “Because we all know it’s obviously me,” 

Jae scoffs at that and he places his hands on his hips in front of the hallway entrance. 

“Bet. Watch him pick me over you in a heartbeat because who feeds him cookies?” He points at himself. “Uh, me, that’s who.”

“Wait, you’ve been feeding him cookies?” Younghyun startles, frowning. His eyes narrow and he looks at Jae like he was the laughing stock of the town. 

Before he could reprimand Jae for feeding their baby a food item that was hard to digest, Wonpil interrupts. 

“Reminder that he has  _ four _ dads now,” He emphasizes. “Don’t make it tough on the baby, he’s only been living for six months.” 

Sungjin clears his throat right after. He folds his newspapers and reclines back onto their cushion chair that was a new addition to their living room space because one couch wasn’t enough for them. 

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve been the one doing the feeding around here so…” He shrugs, playing along and letting his sentence hang off like that. 

“If we’re going by that logic, I keep his hygiene healthy on a daily basis,” Younghyun adds in without missing a beat. He sips on his mug of honey tea as Jae chips in. 

“Well, I play dolls and imaginary cooking with him,”

“No, you don’t,” Sungjin gestures to Dowoon on the play mat. “He’s decapitating the doll’s head as we speak,” 

Dowoon rolls over onto his front upon hearing his name, holding a teething ring against his salivated mouth and a harsh grip on the Barbie doll’s head. The three adults stared back at him. 

“Are we seriously doing this now?” Wonpil groans out. 

“Yes,” responds Jae. “I am determined to prove that I am Dowoon’s favorite,”

“Count me in,”

Sungjin nods after Younghyun’s comment, also in agreement. 

“What are we? Five?” Wonpil sneers on the couch. 

“Yes, we are. Now get up and help me move this couch out of the way.” 

  
  
  
  
  


“Alright Dowoon, we could do this the easy way or the hard way,”

“Stop intimidating our baby,”

Dowoon lets out a laugh at that, finding the situation embarrassingly funny. Jae drags him by his two legs back onto the designated spot on their carpet floor and Dowoon rolls away, rebelling against his dad for the twentieth time. He sits at a spot to Jae’s right near the television stand and lets out another chain of giggles when Jae sighs at his failure to cooperate. 

The other three were spread out in a single line, sitting on their knees or bottom, where the couch used to be. It was moved to make more space for their about-to-be competition with Dowoon. 

“You don’t seem like his favorite dad right now,” Wonpil points out. 

Dowoon rolls away again, laughing until his cheeks flush red when he catches Jae’s expression after failing to tug him back to the spot he wants him to be at. 

The blonde resigns defeat, and hands Dowoon his sock monkey, which Dowoon loves to suck and chew on during his teething. 

“I  _ am _ . He’s just— not having it right now,” He scooches Dowoon into a vertical position to face the trio. 

“Okay, Dowoonie, on my count of three I want you to crawl over to your favorite daddy.”

He rubs at Dowoon’s small back in an attempt to coax the boy. The baby looks up at him with a definite grin and begins to crawl away from them. Jae picks him up and plants him at the same spot again. 

“Okay, let’s retry here buddy. Remember, on my count of three,”

He retreats to where the others were and squeezes himself between Younghyun and Wonpil so he could have an advantage of being the center, slowly dragging out the counting.

“One… two… three!”

Dowoon crawls away. He sits near their giant balcony window and smiles at them teasingly.

“Bub, come to appa. Your favorite appa,” Younghyun coos, waving Dowoon’s favorite blanket at him.

They all came to the game with an assortment of items to lure Dowoon. Younghyun had dibs on Dowoon’s favorite blanket with a teddy bear’s head etched onto the top corner; Jae had a half broken Oreo that was initially whole until Younghyun threatened him to break the cookie; Sungjin had his acoustic guitar on his lap; and Wonpil had nothing in his surroundings. 

“I trust my child to come to me bare in my truest form,” 

The three stared at him in disbelief.

“Okay, good luck winning his heart.”

That sentence was all it took for Wonpil to grab a fresh apple from the fridge, showcasing it to Dowoon. 

Sungjin plays his guitar, humming out a melody they were all used to now as he played it often in the evenings when the sun began dipping into exhaustion. And that catches Dowoon’s attention, who fully faces him. 

“Come to,” he sings, “your favorite appa,”

“Wait, that’s not fair. You’re literally producing sound; of course, that’s going to attract his attention,” Wonpil whines.

Sungjin turns to him with a smug grin, still humming the melody. 

“Well, you should’ve thought of it before I did, hmm?”

“Dowoonie, come to your favorite appa,” Jae ignores the two of them in favor of waving the cookie in front of Dowoon. “I have a cookie for you!”

Younghyun starts patting at the ground, bent over on his knees, and extending his arms as he gleefully smiles at Dowoon. Jae starts doing the same, except he makes as much noise as he can to overshadow Younghyun’s opportunity of luring their son in. Sungjin strums his guitar, content with his pace despite getting interrupted by Jae, and Wonpil mock-pretends to bite the apple, rolling his eyes in an overwhelmed state that screams, “Delicious!” and gestures for Dowoon to take a bite. 

The sight amuses Dowoon even more and he starts crawling in their direction, letting out a squeak for every time his four daddies showered him with encouragement and compliments to keep going. He pauses before he reaches close enough to either of the four adults and drool drips down his chin as he smiles up at them. 

“Come on, Dowoonie, you can do it! You’re so close,” Younghyun encourages, patting the carpet floor more aggressively. 

“Baby, I’m right here!” Jae says. 

Sungjin sings out Dowoon’s name, strumming softly now to the tune of a nursery rhyme and Wonpil doesn’t hold back in shaking the apple as if it were a baby rattle instead. The four expend their vocal chords to emit attraction and the baby crawls in a curved line— it was hard to predict which direction he was taking. One minute he looked to crawl to Younghyun’s side of the living room and the next he curved the lane and headed straight to Sungjin’s guitar. 

“Yo, is he good with balance? Are babies supposed to crawl like that?” Jae frowns, genuinely concerned over his son’s sense of direction. 

Next to him, Younghyun straightens his back to stretch his spine, having bent over for longer than his body could handle. 

“I think he’s just teasing us. He knows what he’s doing,” Wonpil says in response, still rattling the apple like a maraca in rhythm with Sungjin’s acoustic melody.

Their level of commitment at luring Dowoon gradually decreases the closer Dowoon crawls to Sungjin, criss-crossed with the guitar in his lap. Dowoon gives Wonpil a quick glance before he stops in front of Sungjin, chubby hands reaching for the guitar strings. And Sungjin lets out the loudest whoop, which wasn’t that loud in comparison to the others, and strums his guitar aggressively in celebration. 

Immediately, the waves overturned and surged an uproar.

“I demand a rematch!”

“Dowoon didn’t necessarily pick you, he picked the guitar!”

“Aite, we’re redoing.”

Jae picks up Dowoon and places him back to his original spot next to the television stand. He drops next to Younghyun, ignoring Sungjin’s accusing finger and mock annoyance at how everything was fair and square between them and that they were just jealous that Dowoon had picked him instead. But nonetheless, the second round of the game proceeded and a return of the noises usurped the apartment room on the seventh floor. 

Younghyun and Jae were bent over and patting the ground like mad dogs; Sungjin tapped on the guitar with his knuckles to an impromptu beat; and Wonpil was the most civilized out of all of them, simply outstretching his hand holding the apple.

Dowoon crawls over, all the while smiling at his overly excited dads. He stops in front of Jae this time and reaches out for the cookie in Jae’s right hand. The blondie brings forth Dowoon by picking him up under the armpits and stands up to throw the baby in the air. 

The baby kicks his little legs in excitement and Jae throws him in the air in victory a couple more times until his wrists give out, and he stops to spin Dowoon in his arms nearly giving their baby whiplash. Younghyun intervenes before he could do so, reaching out a hand to hold the back of Dowoon’s head. 

“Dude– you’re gonna behead our baby, stop it!”

“Rematch!” Wonpil screams. He shakes the apple at Jae as if it was a threat.

“He picked the cookie, not you.”

And so, Younghyun places their baby back onto the carpet for the fifth time and the game restarts. They all agreed on the third round being the final answer as to who Dowoon would choose; the two that were previously picked were drained of energy so they leaned back onto the couch pushed against the walls and watched the event unfold like it was a dramatic and intense sports tournament. 

Dowoon starts crawling, immediately eyeing the apple in Wonpil’s hand and that causes Younghyun to frantically throw himself over Wonpil and tap at his own lap for Dowoon to come over. Wonpil playfully shoves at Younghyun’s shoulder and Younghyun shoves back, and the play-fighting comes to a halt when Dowoon reaches out for the both of them. He places his two hands on both their overlapped knees and starts pushing himself off the ground with a small grunt.

And he’s standing for the first time, face-to-face with two equally shocked expressions of astonished disbelief, holding himself up with a grip on their outstretched arms. 

“Holy  _ shit– _ takke!” Jae yells out. He manages to correct himself at the last minute when Sungjin elbows him. 

“Dowoon–” Sungjin can’t bring himself to finish his sentence when he sees Younghyun and Wonpil’s gaping jaw that almost reaches the floor. 

And their baby lets out a hearty laugh at their reactions and he drops on his butt with an “Oof!”. His mouth automatically latches onto the cookie in his grubby hand. 

Younghyun and Wonpil swarm their baby with a group hug and shared kisses, praising him for standing, and Jae and Sungjin follow right after although they settle with pinching his cheeks and ruffling his head in affection. 

They had attempted in the past to teach Dowoon to stand by holding him up and letting him apply pressure on his own two legs, but the results were always the same: falling on his rear and giggling up at them. Whatever bribery tactic they used to get Dowoon to stand rendered useless from forbidden sweets to new toys Jae had bought for cheap prices. 

They’ve tried leaning him against the walls but he would slide down the moment their grip on his hands loosened. Younghyun developed a routine to walk with Dowoon between his legs after breakfast, but the baby would squirm until his knees hit the floor and he would crawl away from his father, who could never be truly mad at him. Sungjin would place Dowoon in a standing position so he could lean his weight on the couch whenever they had movie marathons, but again the baby would squirm out of his hold and plant himself on the floor while staring up at Sungjin. 

They knew it was still quite early for him to be standing steadily, but they wanted to make it a habit of Dowoon until the day he learned to stand on his own. And it seems their efforts have paid off in the very same living room on the day they were foolishly competing like children to win Dowoon’s love. 

They finally push the couch back into its respective space with the back facing the kitchen area— it was mainly Younghyun, Jae, and Sungjin’s combined strength while Wonpil hangs back with Dowoon in his arms— and calls it a day over the turn of events. The four had settled with the final answer: all four of them served an equally important role in the upbringing of Dowoon and no one was less than the other in being a father to their baby, regardless if Wonpil wasn’t officially tied in their marriage which was a conversation for another time. 

Jae hangs Dowoon’s arms to grasp onto the couch once again to see if their baby would stand, and he did only for a few short seconds before he plunges to the ground flat on his bottom. Younghyun’s got his camera out to film that short duration and sends it to their group chat for the others to save on their devices, and Wonpil crouches down nearby to have Dowoon walk over to him. The baby doesn’t comply and instead crawls over, but that’s enough for Wonpil to happily embrace him in a hug. 

Younghyun goes back to his seat by the dining table to catch up on reading, Wonpil and Jae sit on the same couch and switch to their paused film with Dowoon on Wonpil’s lap, and Sungjin reclines back in the sofa chair with his newspaper and guitar tucked away. 

The atmosphere was filled with content with unnecessary conversations and the silence was comfortable as it was previously as each did their own thing aside from the television and the occasional commentary. Younghyun was a page into his book when Sungjin speaks up. 

“But you guys do know that Dowoon picked me first, right?”

Younghyun and Wonpil let out a groan and turn to Jae, who’s obviously fired up from Sungjin’s comment. 

_ Not again. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and if i say i got this idea from shinee's hello baby then what ...
> 
> also uhh i updated this in the chapter 1 notes but in case you didn't see it, this entire fic was mainly inspired by this vlive: https://photos.app.goo.gl/CZ2pKXSVxeBaVW7A9
> 
> kudos + comments are appreciated, i would love to hear your thoughts ♡


	6. the boulder, the moonlight, the stars, the wind, and the sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Because amongst the discomforts of cold feet pressed into warm thighs, snapping tensions from silly fights, and days where it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, Dowoon was the warmth they would never hope to die down in the mellow nights where the boulder was delicate, the moonlight was saddened, the wind was prickly, and the stars were dimmed."

To wake up with arms pressed to his sides, a leg thrown over his thighs, and cold feet digging into his shins was something Jae could never get used to despite sleeping in the same bed with two (sometimes three) other men four years into their marriage. Younghyun and Sungjin were quick to ease into physical skinship, although Sungjin still reacted the same to it as when Jae and Younghyun first met him, but that doesn’t mean Sungjin lacked affection. 

When he couldn’t bring himself to hug or kiss others without feeling awkward, he made up through feeding and massaging the muscles between their neck and shoulder. He wasn’t a pillar they leaned on by any means; rather he was a set stone they knew wouldn’t budge against the crashing waves. He has his moments where he could easily crumble and become one with the sand, but then the sun would set and he would heal in the darkest of nights under the careful watch of the moon and stars. 

Whereas Younghyun was the opposite. He was natural to skinship and no one would bat an eyelash if he were to throw in a side hug after teasing or a kiss on the forehead in the private manners of their bedroom when the stars embraced his partner. He was the moonlight, making his presence known in pitch black when he himself was feeling melancholic through the eight different phases of the moon. The half moon phase for when he had to wear his professionalism in his workplace; the gibbous phase for when he was out in public with any of his partners; the crescent phase for days where he wasn’t feeling himself and desired to be left alone; the full moon phase when he was within the confines of his home; and the new moon phase for when he learned a thing or two that impacted his life for the better. 

Jae, on the other hand, was the stars littered in the sky, invisible in city lights but reserved for lands with worthy eyes. He lacked in physical contact much like Sungjin, but he could spare his hand to be held if his partners were able to woo him enough through thoughtful actions like buying medicine for him ahead of time when he simply coughed. He burned to touch at first, but past the external beauty is the rawest form: flawed but still a magnificent beauty that burned brightly. 

When the family of three had brought in a new addition, they thought it couldn’t get any better than that. Their newest addition was the literal sun— he was filled with an endless warmth that softened even the coldest of souls and flowers bloomed under the ringing of his heartfelt laughter. No one could bring themselves to stop staring at him in wonder even in the hottest of days where he painted the skies yellow with a tint of vivid vermillion. They named him Dowoon when he came into their lives through hospital sheets and a roll of cries, they gave him a home under their apartment on the seventh floor with a decent balcony view, and they raised him together.

The family of four thought that was where their satisfaction would end— they were married and had closed off their open relationship, they lived in an affordable apartment through combined finances and jobs that paid somewhat decently, and they decided to welcome the sun into the big picture. But their satisfaction was only a beginning when Jae had met Wonpil at a bookstore that looked more like a museum he’s been fetching reading materials from two months later.

The two had met through Jae’s humiliation when he had accidentally collided with an assistant strolling a cart of books more than half his size. The force of their collision prompted a bruise to form near Jae’s hip from the metal cart and a profusion of apologies rolling out of his tongue as he helped place the fallen books into its carrier. Wonpil had felt guilty once he saw Jae’s glasses were cracked, insisting it was his own fault for not paying attention when really it was both their faults. In embarrassment, Jae had left without grabbing the books he sought after apologizing once again.

The next week rolled by and it was only through Younghyun’s persuasion that the assistant probably thought nothing of the incident by now did Jae step foot into the bookstore again. He spent an hour trying to find the book Younghyun desperately wanted to get his hands on for purposes of flexing when Wonpil had strolled by in the same uniform and metal cart and had asked if he acquired help. Jae pretended as if he hadn’t avoided the bookstore for a week in fear of seeing the assistant again, and from then on the two met frequently at the bookstore. 

Jae found out Wonpil was a recently graduated student with a literature degree, and had recently started working at the bookstore in hopes of becoming an editor at a book publishing company near the area. Wonpil shares his love for music, being a pianist himself, and the two click over their mutual childhood dream of forming a band. In turn, Wonpil finds out Jae is married and recently had a baby— at the time, Jae had failed to notice Wonpil’s disappointment after hearing the news. 

Their friendship at the bookstore later branched out into Wonpil meeting the others— Jae’s husbands and he clicked right away, and Dowoon puked on Wonpil— and even grabbing brunch together. Brunches turned to apartment visits, and apartment visits turned into casual drop-ins for Wonpil just for the sake of their company and visiting Dowoon. 

No one ever seemed to mind Wonpil— in fact, they valued his company more than their other guests— and it was within a week of his absence that they realized something. Compared to the stars, the moon, the boulder, and the sun, Wonpil was the galaxy that was home to the stars exhibiting its beauty. He was the reflection of moonlight in blue sand and bitterly cold waves, comfortable with the silence the moon had to offer. He was the wind that whipped past the boulder to shake it from its firm placement, almost as if teasing the giant stone on shore. And most of all, he was the clouds that accompanied the sun on its long walk to exhaustion until it dipped into an egg yolk shape and was tucked away for the night time. 

He was the vital essence in their life in that sense. He had incorporated a part of himself into their lives and without him, it felt strangely bare much like the time when Younghyun and Sungjin formed a relationship before realizing Jae was their missing key in college years. 

So, they gave him a visit at the bookstore. Wonpil confesses he’s been stressed about finding a roommate and a renting space in the process of moving out as all of his friends were either engaged and living with their fiance or were unable to room with him due to personal reasons. Wonpil held back on the main reason why he was absent on visits— the trio can tell— but nonetheless, they chose to buy their time and help Wonpil as much as they could. 

That was when Jae had proposed Wonpil room with them for the time-being after discussing it with his partners for the night. Somewhere along helping Wonpil pack his belongings and transfer them to their apartment, their relationship shifted into something beyond platonic— although it was never voiced by both groups due to Wonpil’s fear that he misunderstood their intentions, and the trio’s fear that they were being overbearing towards Wonpil. 

Wonpil was affectionate with those he was close to, and he didn’t hold back when it came to his crush on not only one person but gradually two other people, who also happened to be married to his initial crush (Jae). He would cling to the arm of the person closest to him whenever he doubled over laughter, he would sandwich himself between Jae and Sungjin on their movie nights, and he loved to hold Dowoon so much to the point they were convinced he moved in with them just for Dowoon.

His affections being on par with Younghyun, although slightly more reliant on physical touches, balanced the dynamics between the four of them: Wonpil and Younghyun being touchy and Jae and Sungjin being the untouchable yet affectionate through minimal actions. 

And Wonpil, compared to Jae, grew familiar with the cold feet pressing into his thighs at times where he’s passed out in their master bedroom instead of his own room. His presence around the apartment in itself was a familiarity for everybody, regardless if he was in the kitchen stirring up his fifth cup of coffee for the day, if he passed out on his computer chair, or slept in the shared bed. He was the unexpected key they all, at first, weren’t aware was missing from the big picture. And from that unexpectancy was just the beginning of a range of things they wouldn’t have expected to occur as both individuals capable of dealing with their own emotions and as parents. Loving Wonpil and bodies pressed against his in deep sleep was an unfamiliarity for Jae.

But what Jae could grow familiar with was waking to a tiny voice calling out for him through a slurred pronunciation of “Appa” (much like how other babies talk) and he would sit up carefully so as to not disturb Wonpil, who slept in late for most days. Dowoon would stand by the edge of the bed, up on his tippy toes and gripping the bed as if he was unbalanced, and he’d whine because he can’t climb up on the big bed. 

It was a few days after their family competition to see who Dowoon’s favorite father was that Dowoon started his attempts to walk on his own. Although with just nine months of properly living, it was expected that he would fail and succeed like the average baby. Younghyun would awaken in the mornings and take Dowoon out of his crib right exactly as Dowoon opened his eyes. He’d balance the baby to stand by the laundry hamper while he washes up and contort his face into silly expressions to entertain his son and applauding him for standing. And together they’d walk with Dowoon in between Younghyun’s legs to the kitchen for an early breakfast and back into the living room to play while awaiting for the others to wake up. 

But some time around this particular routine, Dowoon began to abandon his place at the hamper and walk to where the rest were sleeping. Younghyun would stand in the bathroom doorway, brushing his teeth, and look after his son to see what he would do when he manages to push the ajar door open. 

The first time it happened, Dowoon would seemingly stare into space as he lingers in the bedroom doorway for a minute or two— Younghyun was afraid that his son had encountered ghosts— but then he’d point to the two lumps in the bed that were Jae and Wonpil and look back at Younghyun, muttering “Appa” as if to ask his father for confirmation. 

After receiving a smile, Dowoon would walk back into Younghyun’s opened arms and the two would retreat back into the living room. 

The second time it happened, Dowoon would step close to the bed to look at his fathers in deep sleep but was eventually persuaded by Younghyun to come out so as to not awaken the pair of sleepyheads. 

The third time it happened, Younghyun stepped back in the doorway with his arms crossed as his baby waddles across the carpet; which is how Jae finds himself squinting at his son at the edge of their bed. Dowoon raises his two little arms up, wanting to be held by Jae, but loses his balance and falls flat on his butt with a small thud but he doesn’t cry as he pushes himself back up and his hands make a grabbing gesture. 

Jae throws one leg over Wonpil’s form, dead to the world as he lies, and picks up Dowoon to head to the living room. He shuts the door while Younghyun runs his fingers over his mop of hair to somewhat fix the tangled strands, and kisses Dowoon’s cheeks as a greeting because he wasn’t in the mood to talk this early in the morning yet. 

This happens throughout their weekend mornings when all four adults are under the same roof and with time passing, Dowoon gets better at his motor functions. He no longer crawls on the floor and only slides with his butt to get into cramped spaces in a game of hide-and-seek, he starts reaching for drawers and cabinets while on his tippy toes, he paces around in the living room to peer out of the balcony windows, and he lingers by the kitchen doorway whenever he wanted a quick snack provided by Sungjin. 

So, Younghyun starts taking Dowoon out for his evening walks whenever time is granted after a long day of work to the neighborhood park by the willow trees where he likes to take his photographs. Dowoon would follow Younghyun on his heels and occasionally pause in his steps because he became fascinated with roly polys and leaves on the sidewalk. That was the day Younghyun took a whole photo album worth of pictures of Dowoon walking towards him as the sun set in the background, casting its everlasting warmth one last time before bidding goodbye for the night. 

And on days where Younghyun was busy, Sungjin took Dowoon downtown to the bus stations because Dowoon developed an interest in big transportations. He would get all excited whenever a bus would approach the stops, stomping his tiny feet to a nonexistent rhythm of a marching band, and he would whine if Sungjin attempted to pick him up. And a few times, Sungjin would let Dowoon get on the bus to wherever it took them just so Dowoon could experience the innocent joy of the transportation only to end up lost a few moments later and having to navigate his way home through whatever cell data he had left. 

Dowoon’s curiosity for the world now that his walking was stabilized meant straying away from his parents more often than not in their public outings. He would hide in clothing racks and food aisles, and run off in the opposite direction as long as it got one of his fathers chasing after him in his mischievous nature. But Jae had come up with a solution as to not lose their son: a quick order and deliverance of squeaky baby shoes strapped onto Dowoon’s feet to alert them of wherever Dowoon had run off to. 

There was once a time where Jae and Wonpil had opted to ignore the squeaky noises fading into the distance, glancing at their son from the corner of their eyes, to see how Dowoon would react to his inability to grab their attention. Dowoon hid behind the shelves stacked with Disney movies but upon noticing his two dads weren’t catching up with him, he ran back to where their cart was and tugged on Jae’s shorts with a pout on his lips. 

Jae’s automatic, “Did you have fun?” tugged a smile out of the previous pout Dowoon had on, and he would run off again to the amusement of Wonpil and Jae. 

But their favorite moment from the times Dowoon had mastered walking was the evening the four adults went shopping and Dowoon had tried on his new clothes in the clothing department. One foot into the other and Dowoon had stepped out of the changing room in a bear onesie, cheeks embraced by the soft brown fur of the hoodie completed with ears. Younghyun had recorded Dowoon walking towards him in the tight hallway as Wonpil stood behind and prompted their son to come to them. Wonpil was the first to collapse in overwhelming exhaustion from how cute the sight was and all four adults melted on the spot when Dowoon had raised both his arms to indicate he wanted to be held. 

So, yeah, Jae could get used to the familiar routine of waking up to their growing baby, adorned in a cute onesie from head to toe, with a smile on his face as if he couldn’t achieve an ounce of happiness without his fathers. Because amongst the discomforts of cold feet pressed into warm thighs, snapping tensions from silly fights, and days where it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, Dowoon was the warmth they would never hope to die down in the mellow nights where the boulder was delicate, the moonlight was saddened, the wind was prickly, and the stars were dimmed. 

Dowoon was the sand that held the boulder in place, the waves embracing the moonlight’s reflection, the softening touch to the prickly wind, and he climbed a ladder to hang the stars just a little bit higher for the world to see. And at the peak of early morning, he would awaken with an orange yellow glow, laughter on his tongue, and a dashing smile to greet his fathers. He was the beginning of a new day and how grateful the four were to be involved in that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait, i was out of it for months. i hope you enjoy <3


	7. dowoon's first birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Vacations, while a capitalist move to convince people to hand over their money, are also a beneficial opportunity to alleviate tensions and a get-away from a stressful reality; it strengthens social bonds, exposes individuals to new experiences, creates memories, introduces foreign sightings, and boosts cognitive motivations. But the downside is the process of making that trip actually happen, which creates another level of unwanted stress."
> 
> Dowoon spends his first birthday at the beach with his family.

Vacations, while a capitalist move to convince people to hand over their money, are also a beneficial opportunity to alleviate tensions and a get-away from a stressful reality; it strengthens social bonds, exposes individuals to new experiences, creates memories, introduces foreign sightings, and boosts cognitive motivations. But the downside is the process of making that trip actually happen, which creates another level of unwanted stress. Ideally, the steps consist of grabbing food, wallet, extra tires or gasoline in case the car gives out halfway into driving, packing clothes, and other necessities for a day out on the beach; but in reality, they end up with a van with eighty percent of baby items and the rest of the twenty reserved for the adults.

They were an hour into containing everything into the back of their van, sun beating down on their napes and scorching asphalt, when they finally hit the road onto their two hour destination to the beach. Sungjin was the designated driver and was the main planner, picking out gas stations near their route in case of emergencies; Jae took the passenger seat to shuffle through songs; and Younghyun and Wonpil were in the back with Dowoon’s baby seat in the middle facing their way.

Today was Dowoon’s first birthday and they woke him up with more kisses than the usual— a peck on the cheek by Younghyun, a forehead kiss from Sungjin, butterfly kisses to his tummy from Jae, and a nose kiss from Wonpil. Dowoon was the only one who was fed a proper breakfast; the others were quick to chug down their coffee for the day because heading to the beach required a wake up call at seven in the morning to ensure they didn’t arrive too late for availability of parking spaces and a set spot on the sand. Sungjin made a quick sandwich from a slab of leftover marinated pork and a slice of mozzarella, Wonpil stole a quick bite from him behind his back, and Younghyun shoved as many fruits into his mouth as possible. Jae leaned onto the hallway arch for support as he sipped his coffee in silence.

The initial plan was to take Dowoon to an aquarium for his first birthday, but the majority overruled with the beach being their leading choice. The nearest aquarium was equally two hours away, just like the beach, but Jae had complained about the sudden disappearance of his winter clothes and how he would rather not spend his son’s first birthday freezing his balls off, so with the comfort of others in mind, they favored the beach. Another influence was according to Jae, Dowoon would be able to see marine creatures in the ocean itself so it was a win-win situation; warm weather and Dowoon would still be able to enjoy the experience.

Everything was going great so far; bathroom breaks were kept to a minimum because they didn’t want to further delay their arrival and the two in the back carried enough snacks to last the entire trip, but what came as a conflict was running out of ideas (and energy) to keep Dowoon entertained. Younghyun and Jae were persistent on not having Dowoon watch any sort of digital media until he reached the age of two because exposure at such a young age wasn’t in any way beneficial to his cognitive mindset. An hour into singing songs did they eventually succumb to silence aside from Dowoon’s usual blabberings and Wonpil had already knocked out, leaned back into his seat with his arms crossed and bucket hat covering his eyes. Younghyun desperately wanted sleep to come to him too, but every time his eyes fluttered shut Dowoon would call out “Appa” and nudge at Younghyun’s arm with his feet. Younghyun could only offer a tired smile and rub at his eyes to watch over Dowoon until he fell asleep.

Twenty minutes later and Dowoon had transferred to Jae’s lap up front, perched on his thigh with Jae’s arm wrapped under his belly for support as Dowoon looked at passing rocky walls and wide roads by the closed window, signifying they were getting closer and closer to the beach. He would point to dogs on their leashes when they got to the narrow roads filled with tiny restaurants and convenient stores, saying “Wuff wuff.” and Jae would respond with the proper vocabulary.

Unpacking their belongings was another level of stress when they had arrived and snagged a parking space over the railings on the upper deck. Sungjin’s hand truck, meant to transport the cooler and stacked mat, couldn’t carry their foldable umbrella and other belongings as planned, no matter how many times they rearranged the stacking, so each member had to resort to carrying the belongings, including Dowoon who held onto the tiny bucket for his sandcastle later.

They had luckily found a spot to settle in, further away from the other families but not too far from the stretch of the shore itself. Sungjin jabbed the umbrella into the sand and Jae helped mound the pile onto the shaft of the umbrella so it won’t fly away; Wonpil placed their footwear, bags, and cooler onto edges of the mat; and Younghyun applied sunscreen to Dowoon first, who was crouching down by the sand and smushing it in his tiny palms.

Delayering their cardigans, Younghyun threw on a yellow sleeveless dress onto Dowoon in replacement of his dry clothes because: (a) it was more convenient for them to change Dowoon later, (b) the dress looks cute on their baby, and (c) gender overtones onto clothes is a societal making they didn’t feel like following. On top of that, Dowoon wore an adorably matching yellow bucket hat, which was a win-win situation.

Sungjin hoisted the birthday boy onto his shoulders and dipped his toes into the washing waves, heading further into the water. Jae brings his camera to take pictures of the two, occasionally calling out to Dowoon to look over at the camera, but as a baby Dowoon doesn’t listen and continues to stare at the flowing water thrashing around Sungjin’s thighs. Sungjin doesn’t lift Dowoon from his shoulders until the water has reached around his waistline and he slowly dips his baby’s tiny feet into the water to test his reactions.

At first, Dowoon retracts his feet in surprise but with Jae’s hand patting the waves to prove that the water was harmless, he eases into the drenched dress and grasps onto Sungjin’s hands for safety comfort. Sungjin swings him around a bit, throwing him into the air before soaking him in the ocean, and Dowoon giggles, kicking his feet in excitement. Jae returns with a floatie that neither of the three adults could blow into, leaving Sungjin to be the one to adjust it.

As Sungjin blows, Jae dips Dowoon, who’s clinging onto his chest, to soak his body fully in a laid-back position on his stretched arm and praises him for taking the water so well.

(“You having fun, buddy? You are! Look at you; look at your little legs!” He pecks Dowoon’s feet. “Papa’s gonna bring a floatie for you.”)

Jae situates Dowoon onto the duck floatie and Sungjin flicks water droplets onto his baby’s face as Dowoon covers his face with his hands, laughing at his father’s actions. They take a couple more pictures before Jae puts the camera down and starts pushing the floatie into another direction, steering him across waters so Younghyun and Wonpil could spot him on shore. Surely, Younghyun sat with his phone in his hands taking pictures of Dowoon.

They migrate to where the waves flattened out after crashing down immensely, pushing Dowoon around and attempting to swim themselves, although it was more like crouching under the water and playing peek-a-boo with him. At one point, Dowoon got so startled by Jae’s head popping out of the water that his hands swung across Jae’s cheeks as an instinctive defense, causing Sungjin to bust a lung at the sight. Younghyun and Wonpil abandoned their spots after a quick meal and could only pray the sea birds won’t trash their area, entering the huge waves to push at each other and acting the complete opposites of adult men.

Wonpil splashes Sungjin and, in return, Sungjin chases after Wonpil across the shoreline to bodylock him and carry him to the sea as playful punishment. Younghyun and Jae lead Dowoon to the lower levels and let him trudge through the water, picking seashells with him and preventing him from eating sand. They smear seaweed that washed ashore onto Dowoon’s upper lip to give him a fake mustache— Jae takes a picture of that but is interrupted by Wonpil splashing at him from behind. He points to his camera that is actually waterproof but Wonpil doesn’t need to know, not when Jae takes advantage of his ignorance and splashes him as much as he could get away with with the threat of the camera being in his possession.

In fact, no one informs Wonpil of the waterproof camera (Sungjin and Younghyun had seen Jae’s shopping list) until an hour later when they all return back to their mats to devour the food they’ve packed and he was the most soaked out of all of them.

It was a strange thing to see four adult men with a baby in their arms with no appearance of a mother in sight, which is why they had been receiving passing stares under the warm rays of sunlight from other families but they paid no mind to it. It was Dowoon’s day, and he was all that mattered to them.

They clapped in praise for every bite Dowoon took of the fries and burgers they split evenly, and that made Dowoon eat more to fish for their reactions and compliments. He waddles towards Younghyun to get a taste of his fries and moves onto Sungjin with his mouth open, expecting his father to feed him a piece of his burger— he does get fed because no one could resist him— and climbs onto Jae’s lap to beg him for the chocolate pretzels in his hands. He randomly gives Wonpil a kiss while chewing, staining Wonpil’s cheek with chocolate, but that's okay because immediately, begging for his affection arose between the others leaning forward to present their cheeks to Dowoon. Even Sungjin, except he patted at his lap and gestured for Dowoon to come forth for a treat.

Once he kisses all his fathers, there’s no telltale sign on when they would stop kissing him in adoration. Younghyun’s been squishing his face and smothering him in kisses for two minutes straight, and he only stops once Jae physically removes his hands because he’s “suffocating the birthday boy”. Jae and Wonpil take Dowoon out, swinging him in between them, onto the shoreline to build some sandcastles, not yet entering the waves since they just finished eating, and Younghyun and Sungjin hang back underneath the shade to nap off the tiring drive this morning.

Dowoon jumps on the little bubbles from drifting sea foam and he runs away from the approaching waves, pooling out laughter for every time he runs back into either Jae or Wonpil’s open arms. When the waves retreat, he waddles back to the ocean under the provision of Wonpil bending down to hold Dowoon’s hand and he runs away from the water. It becomes a hefty cycle to the point Wonpil can no longer keep up and collapses onto the sand right next to Jae, panting and patting at his shoulder to tell him to take his place. Jae does but instead of running alongside Dowoon, he runs ahead first to tease him and Dowoon loves it, shrieking at the feeling of wetness nipping at his heels.

They repeat a couple more times until Dowoon stops moving and lets the waves crash into him, but given his tiny body he loses balance and falls. Wonpil and Jae’s heart drops, and they quickly scramble to hold Dowoon so he won’t drown, but Dowoon apparently thinks it’s the funniest thing ever because he runs directly into the waves right after they let him down with laughter. Wonpil goes to pick Dowoon up again, but Jae stops him with his arm stretched out and simply says, “Let him.”

They watch Dowoon fall into the waves and he pulls himself up, drenched and choking a few and confused as to why his fathers hadn’t run off to stop him. Jae stands there in silence, a curve of his eyebrows lifting up with his arms crossed and Wonpil seems hesitant, not knowing whether he should comfort Dowoon or stay by Jae’s side. Dowoon doesn’t seem too upset, saddened that his mischievous actions couldn’t quite bait Jae into surrendering like the others, but he crawls back to the two with his arms up wanting to be held. Jae bends over to cradle Dowoon in his arms and kisses the top of his head, mumbling a soft “I love you, baby,” and goes back to where the other two were still napping. The sun had changed position in the sky, so Younghyun’s top half of his body was no longer covered by the shade of their umbrella and was blistering red underneath the sun rays; arms crossed, face covered by a bucket hat, and still in deep sleep despite nearly getting a sunburn. Sungjin was practically comatose— not once moving in his sleep— but he left a trail of sunblock down his nose bridge, and the duo found it funny so they whipped out their phone to take multiple pictures of him. Younghyun wakes up after their twentieth snap and he, too, joins in on their charade.

Some time between the sun setting and Younghyun taking Dowoon into the bathroom building to change, Jae heads out after a quick search of the nearest bakery to fetch Dowoon’s surprise birthday cake. Wonpil stays back to look after Sungjin, who still hasn’t even twitched. Younghyun returns with Dowoon in short overalls and a bag full of their drenched clothes just in time for Jae to light up the candles and for Sungjin to slowly rise from the dead, clapping to the chanted song as his mind processes what’s happening. Dowoon bounces on Sungjin’s lap, his two hands collapsed underneath Sungjin’s, with his fathers gleefully looking down at him and singing along.

“–happy birthday to you!” Cheers were made and their applauses spawn a giant smile from their baby boy, showcasing his bottom row teeth. He claps along to the noise, and Sungjin leans over to point at the candles, looking back at Dowoon and demonstrating how to blow them out. The others, of course, encourage.

He ends up spitting on the cake more so than blowing, drooling at the mouth and Sungjin wipes with his free hand. Jae dabs frosting onto the tip of Dowoon’s nose and Wonpil swipes his fingers across his parted mouth to give Dowoon a taste of the chocolate batter. The four men attempt at slicing the small cake with chopsticks that Wonpil had packed, seeing as they carried no plastic knives with them, and messily goes through with it. Dowoon makes a sweet mess on his face— Sungjin cleans it up— but midway into eating, he starts to get drowsy and overwhelmed with exhaustion. He whines and shifts in Sungjin’s arms to bury his face into his chest, resting his head to fall asleep to the slight thumps and bumps of his father’s heartbeat underneath the thick flesh and purple polo.

That was their cue to pack quietly; Younghyun takes hold of the cooler and folded umbrella piled on top of the hand truck because Sungjin had his hands full cradling Dowoon and the other two didn’t want to trudge heavy equipment. They opted to take their other items— bags full of wet clothes, folded chairs and mat, washed buckets, and the baby bag— and they traveled back to their parked vehicle with the sun dipping into static.

Younghyun offers to be the designated driver, leaving Wonpil to take the passenger seat, and Sungjin and Jae head to the back with Dowoon fast asleep. They end up having to remove the baby seat from the middle because Dowoon stirs in refusal every time Sungjin tries to place him down. He bunches his fist into Sungjin’s collar and pouts at the dissipating warmth; they all didn’t wish to deal with an overly tired and grumpy baby when they, themselves, were exhausted to the bone. Sungjin tucks the baby bag underneath his arms as a cushion to hold Dowoon without straining his muscles and Jae transports the baby seat to the back for more space to sprawl out in a nap. The engine starts, tires grate against craved pavement, and they drive away from the red sun; no music or conversations, just breaths fanning into silence. And Sungjin falls asleep to the rhythm of Dowoon’s breaths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was the one i struggled with a bit. with no main conflict in this chapter (besides their stress over vacation trips), i feared it would be boring compared to the rest. it's light for now c: just dowoon and his dads. let me know what you think !
> 
> also i re-did the summary for this entire work and added a little extra to the title, i hope it's okay. just felt the first one i used was kinda messy.


	8. halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "While all of them were equally as excited over the approach of Halloween, they weren’t the types to fuss over what costumes they wanted to wear for a one-day event that didn’t occur until four weeks later. 
> 
> But over the last few years of forming a family, including raising a baby for a year now, preferences change, personalities adapt, and as parents, they’ve developed a worrying habit of stressing over the tiniest things that aren’t unnecessarily stressing. And this year happens to be fussing over what their costumes are going to be because it was Dowoon’s first Halloween."

It hits the mark of the universally acknowledged thought of  _ “It’s beginning” _ without having to be said when Halloween decorations are displayed in department stores two months before October’s arrival. Fake cobwebs are attached to window panes, skeletons are hung in the first rack of items customers see upon walking in, huge bags of sweets are on sale, and the atmosphere feels a little more lively with orange and black plastered everywhere. 

And Jae stumbles home with a big bag of red liquorice, offering a stick to Younghyun who’s laying on his front with Dowoon sat on his back, giggling for every grunt Younghyun gives. Dowoon reaches for the offered sweet, but Younghyun is quick to distract him by shaking a box of baby puffs and hovers one over Dowoon’s open mouth. 

“What do we say, Dowoonie?” Younghyun asks just as Dowoon brings out his two hands in a begging gesture, one hand on top of the other, palms up. 

Dowoon smiles sweetly, wiggling his tush to act up to Younghyun and refusing to say what he knows his father wants to hear. He shakes his head and says, “ _ Ahhh, _ ”, laughing when Younghyun pulls his hand back and grins at Dowoon’s adorable mischief. 

“No, Dowoonie, the magic word. What do we say?”

“Pwease,” Dowoon struggles with his r’s and l’s like any other baby. 

Younghyun smiles in satisfaction and hands over the puff while saying, “Good job, baby.” and begins crawling towards the couch on all fours so Dowoon could safely fall onto the furniture.

Not even five minutes later, Wonpil enters the apartment with a handful of Hershey’s kisses bags decorated in bats.

While all of them were equally as excited over the approach of Halloween, they weren’t the types to fuss over what costumes they wanted to wear for a one-day event that didn’t occur until four weeks later. The four adults didn’t feel the need to decorate their apartment with skeletons hanging by the door, pumpkins perched on the kitchen counter, or wall decals on the living room balcony window; they preferred to shop for their costumes  _ on _ the week of Halloween instead of earlier on, and they didn’t haul in large amounts of candies to pass out to trick-or-treaters. 

But over the last few years of forming a family, including raising a baby for a year now, preferences change, personalities adapt, and as parents, they’ve developed a worrying habit of stressing over the tiniest things that aren’t unnecessarily stressing. And this year happens to be fussing over what their costumes are going to be because it was Dowoon’s first Halloween. 

“I’m saying Dowoonie would be cute in the Scooby Doo costume.” is what Younghyun says first thing in the morning with a mouth full of cereal. They’re all seated at the dining table, clutching at their coffee mugs and listening to Younghyun trying to convince them of having family costumes this year revolving around the Scooby Doo characters. 

“But no one wants to be Velma or Daphne. And who  _ wants _ to be Shaggy?” Wonpil protests. 

“Cute idea, but if you’re going for the dog theme, I’d say it’s better to go with Wallace and Gromit for the two of you since I already have plans to be Jim from The Office,” Jae chips in, sipping on his coffee. Besides him, Sungjin silently follows the conversation while chewing on his toast of banana bread. 

“Oh yeah, Sungjin is definitely Wallace. Look at him.” Wonpil responds, nudging his toast in the direction of Sungjin.

All three pairs of eyes turn to look at Sungjin, who stares back with a slight frown, pausing in his chewing. Even Dowoon, sitting in his high chair between Wonpil and Younghyun, turns to stare at his father with cheeks stained of banana mush and blueberry juice.

“Wow, you  _ really _ look like Wallace the more I look at you.” Younghyun mutters before he turns his attention to Wonpil. “And you? What will you be?”

“I don’t have anything specific in mind, but I don’t want to go all out. Maybe a vampire?” Wonpil shrugs. Jae scoffs at him.

“Lame.”

“You’re literally going to be an office worker, Jae.”

“How about…” Sungjin chips in for the first time after finishing his plate of bananas and toast, pausing in thought, and all attention is turned to him. “...the Fox and the Hound?”

He looks at Younghyun. “You resemble a fox,”

Younghyun nods, pondering over what his costume is going to look like based on the orange garments he had in his wardrobe. “Are you considering Wallace?” 

Sungjin hums as a way of expressing his agreement. “Dowoon can be both Gromit and the Hound since they’re both beagles,” 

He stands up to place his dishes in the sink and goes over to Dowoon, who had been done with his breakfast for a while now, to pick him up and heads to the bathroom to clean his grimey face. He left the conversation at that, and the others continued their breakfast without a query on the topic of Halloween costumes. 

It’s approaching late evening on the night of dress up and candy consumption that their doorbell starts ringing and a shout of “Trick or treat!” comes from outside their ivory white door. Jae’s in the bedroom helping Younghyun dress Dowoon in his dog costume as the other pulls Dowoon’s pants up, so he calls out to Wonpil to fetch the door. 

“Wonpil, did you tape the sign that says  _ “No candy!”  _ ?”

From the door left open, the pair see Wonpil sprint out in an untucked black blouse and belt hung loose on his dress pants, hugging his outerwear cape to his chest to cover up his front to greet the young children outside the door with disappointing news. They heard groans and a tiny, “ _ Oh mannn _ .” before shuffling descended down the apartment hall. Wonpil takes a blank piece of paper to scribble “No candy” in capitalized bolded words and tapes it to the door. 

Younghyun buttons the onesie up from behind and Jae holds Dowoon under the armpits on the bed, bending over to make eye contact with Dowoon. 

“Oooh, Dowoonie, you look so cute!” Dowoon smiles at Jae’s compliments, bunching up his fists and bringing it to his mouth— an odd thing babies do when they get excited or shy.

“You look cuter than Jae anyways,” Younghyun comments, stepping away calmly before Jae managed to smack his shoulder. Sungjin steps into the doorway from changing in Wonpil’s room, hands in his dirt brown pockets and red tie underneath the green vest seemingly dull compared to other Halloween costumes. But it  _ fits _ him somehow and makes him seem like more of a father figure dressed in old vests and dress pants. The pair whistle at him but Sungjin only has eyes for Dowoon, reaching out to pick him up from Jae’s arms. He looks over Younghyun and snorts before leaving for the living room. 

Everyone was already dressed— Jae in office slacks, Sungjin in casual wear, Younghyun dressed in an all-orange attire with a painted-on nose and a fox ear headband, and Wonpil was still fixing his cape— so they headed out with the baby bag and pepper spray for safety reasons. Visiting the first door down the hall already made them want to leave based on the judgmental looks they received. Four adult men dressed more than their one year old child holding his candy bag up to his head was rather a comical sight compared to the other twenty children surrounding them, but Jae guides Dowoon into holding his hand and leads him to the next door where an elderly woman dressed as a witch is passing out lollipops.

They make a few more doors down until Wonpil suggests they trick-or-treat out in the neighborhood streets because it was beginning to get stuffy in the building. The four go down to where the neighborhood blocks are and this is where Dowoon gets excited seeing kids older than him. He bounces on his toes and there’s a gleam in his eyes that shine brighter than the passing street lights in the darkest corners of the block, but he doesn’t stray from his fathers— too shy to approach other kids and candy-givers without Jae holding his hand. 

They step up to a door with a woman dressed as Frankstein’s bride and Dowoon takes a few steps back in fright, but is only encouraged forward from the temptation of the candies being offered (and from Sungjin pushing his behind). He gets Twix bars, rarely Kit-Kats, Smarties, red liquorice, various chocolates, and Younghyun keeps check of the type of candies he’ll be eating behind Dowoon’s back— since their baby wasn’t going to eat all of this anyways. One house further down is having an outdoor party and they offer Dowoon a stick of barbeque as a treat for being the youngest of the bunch. His four fathers bow politely and away from the white fences, Younghyun asks Dowoon’s permission to take a bite of the meat— his excuse being that he was tasting to see if it was contaminated with poison but the others could see right through him— and Wonpil even tries it at one point after Dowoon gives him the last bite because he’s too nice. 

At one house with a skeletal toy dancing to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” in the front yard, Dowoon stands by and dances with the toy. Younghyun is, of course, recording it and Wonpil claps along as a hype-man. Dowoon runs back to hug his father’s legs after he gets frightened by one of the other kid’s bloody costume. Jae dares Wonpil to do a cartwheel when they reach a light-casted street full of silhouettes and distant rave music after a conversation between the group led to silly bettings; Wonpil’s riled and obviously does it— he ended up just looking like a starfish bent over— and rips a small part of his cape in the waist area. 

Dowoon copies when the others aren’t looking and ends up slamming his head into the ground, and although the red swelling looks painful on Dowoon’s end, he still manages a smile through watery eyes and wobbling lips. Younghyun kisses his bruise, Jae smacks Wonpil’s arm playfully and says it’s his fault while Wonpil argues back that it was Jae’s proposal in the first place, and Sungjin reassures Dowoon that he’s okay by repeating that and unwraps a blueberry lollipop to cure of his pain. It works and in seconds, Dowoon’s forgotten about his injury and is happily sucking on the lollipop. 

It’s their second block when Dowoon sits down on the ground, too tired to continue walking with a heavy bag of candy he can’t even eat, so Sungjin holds him and Wonpil carries his bag, happily digging through the candies. They visit the houses in the second block and the four play rock-paper-scissors every four or five houses to determine who would be the one to trick-or-treat for Dowoon as he lags in the back with Sungjin— the winner is the one that’s picked on— but Dowoon gets disinterested their third trip in. He rubs at his eyes and tucks his face into Sungjin’s neck but is still very much awake because he keeps lifting his head, Younghyun and Jae’s gotten hungry, and Wonpil wants to rest, so Sungjin takes them to one of the restaurants they often order from. 

They order a pot of fish soup, creamy pasta, and a pan of mixed rice placed right in front of Younghyun seated next to Sungjin; Wonpil and Jae are on the opposite end with Dowoon on the outer-skirts of the table in between the groups so they could take turns looking after him. Wonpil sheds off Dowoon’s hoodie because although they’re seated in the tables located outside the restaurant building two pots and pans of hot food is enough to make anyone build up a sweat, and wraps a napkin around his front as a make-do for a bib. 

Younghyun twirls some of the creamy pasta first onto Dowoon’s plate, separating the noodles into smaller strands for the baby to swallow, and begins to practically inhale his own portion within the time it took for the others to blink. Dowoon stares at his father eating, having abandoned his utensils and settled with a hand covered in noodles, and he grins in delight when Younghyun looks up. And who could not smile in return, is a question Younghyun asks as he wipes Dowoon’s mouth with his napkin. He was a lovable boy loved by everyone in return; Wonpil feeds him a spoon of the fish soup, Jae gives him the nice and soft part of the fish (after making sure they were boneless), Sungjin continues to scoop rice to feed Dowoon after he finishes chewing each bite, and Younghyun’s there to wipe stains off his hands and face. 

Dowoon tugs at Wonpil’s sleeve and when Wonpil turns to look at him, Dowoon’s just staring at him with his face as red as a tomato. He realizes what’s happening and asks Younghyun to pass him the baby bag, and carries Dowoon to the bathroom to change him without another word. Younghyun and Sungjin scrape at the pan for burnt rice on the bottom (because it’s the best part) and Jae’s chugging on his glass, waiting for Wonpil to return so they could play rock-paper-scissors to determine who would pay for the meal. In the end, they choose two losers to split the payment. 

Walking home with tummies so full it brinked to the point of having a tummy ache and an over-excited Dowoon in the night time, they knew it would be difficult later on to try to get Dowoon to bed but as of right now they weren’t worried over that. Jae’s swaying his intertwined hand with Wonpil, laughing at the shape of their casted shadows, and Younghyun’s kissing Dowoon’s red cheeks due to abrupt exposure to the cold winds after having left a warm atmosphere with Sungjin’s arm around his shoulder. Sungjin asks if Dowoon had fun and their baby claps his little hands as a way of saying yes, earning another smooch from Younghyun on the forehead because he couldn’t resist. 

Before entering their apartment building, they take a group photo one last time in their Halloween costumes until the next year’s holiday. Dowoon’s in the center but he’s situated in between Sungjin and Younghyun to match the film references and Wonpil wrapped himself around Younghyun to mock a vampire bite to his neck and Jae gives a thumbs up to the camera as it counts down to ten. They retake a couple because either one of them is blinking in the photo or smiling awkwardly or Dowoon’s looking away in disinterest. 

Exhaustion hits them to their bones right as they step through their carpeted door, carelessly dropping off their shoes at the shoe rack (even Sungjin’s polished dress shoes) and Wonpil beelines to the bathroom to relieve himself of his business and vampire makeup. Younghyun heads straight to Dowoon’s bedroom to get rid of his dog costume, takes care of his hygiene, and closes the door to let the others know not to disturb him and the baby. He rocks him in the dimmed lighting, still dressed in his fox costume, and it takes longer than usual to get him sleepy because of the overstimulation from the previous events and because of the kids yelling outside their apartment. 

Sungjin raps at the door quietly in his sweats and he gives a look to Younghyun, and the latter just understands what he’s saying without having to verbalize it in the thin air because he nods and exchanges his warmth with Sungjin’s to see if Dowoon would fall asleep faster. Sungjin rocks him, humming a song they wrote in the past called “When You Love Someone”— which so happens to be Dowoon’s favorite comfort song and one he falls asleep to every time without failure and just like the lollipop trick, it works. Dowoon’s head falls onto Sungjin’s shoulder and his eyes shut in tiredness; his breathing evens out and he’s dead to the world with his head in the clouds. Sungjin silently and carefully lays Dowoon down into his crib, sends a sweet goodnight kiss, and heads out. 

The others have bid each other a tired goodnight minutes prior and Jae and Wonpil head to Wonpil’s bedroom to crash on his bed while Sungjin and Younghyun drag each other to their bedroom. They stumble onto the bed and automatically Younghyun’s latching onto Sungjin, throwing his leg and arm over his form to lock him in a spooning position and Sungjin is too tired to fight him off— but he does push at Younghyun’s arms to tell him to loosen his hold. His husband’s breaths tickle the back of his neck but he doesn’t want to wake up from his slumber, so he shifts a bit and lets it be. 

Sungjin is the last to fall asleep in the household; he can hear Jae and Wonpil’s whispers because the walls weren’t that thick but it dies down half an hour later just as Younghyun’s breath evens out. He pays no attention to the clock and focuses on following the pattern of his husband’s breathing, allowing himself to breathe and melt into the pillows. He sleeps like a baby that night, eyelids heavy and limbs are curled inwards.

He meets the moonlight watching over him, the sand that embraces his footprints, the stars that twinkle, and the wind that hugs him in his dreamland. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy halloween to anyone who celebrates. i actually wrote this at the beginning of october and was about to publish it because i felt bad (i don't think ao3 gave the notif for my previous chapter for some reason) but i figured to might as well wait for the approach of halloween so it would be fitting. let me know what you think ! 
> 
> i'm active on my twitter (@sanriotaeil) so feel free to dm me if you want idk


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